With a Hint of Sarcasm

First….get over the fact that I went to Walmart, it’s the place to go for cheap housewares and prescriptions and car stuff and…well you get it.  Second they were advertising their Halloween Boo-tique as THE place to get Halloween stuff for cheap and I’m a frugal gal.  So I took a stroll over to the Boo-tique and found two aisles…not exactly the costume and supply warehouse they were leading the public to believe.  One was filled with candy, a chocoholics dream come true. The next aisle was 1/2 costumes and 1/2 accessories and paper goods.  It was in this aisle that I realized why their adult costumes were so cheap…there was nothing to them.

EVERY adult woman costume was a skanky spin on something real.  They were cheap (in both quality AND taste) because there was literally nothing to them. Let’s see there was Skanky Angel, Slutty Devil, French Maid, Whorish fairy and Trampy Dorothy among others.  There was no costume that extended below the knee….none.  OK there was one but there was a slit in the skirt that went up to the neckline so it really doesn’t count.  Even the “plus size” costume (singular) that they did have was a very tacky Poodle skirt, and of course it was the most expensive in the store.

So I ask, when did Halloween become a day to celebrate all things prostitute? Why can’t I look cute and Halloween-y without putting “the girls” on display?  Call me too practical but if I’m spending the evening passing out candy at the door, I’m not looking to freeze “my girls” off.  All I’m saying is…why not offer a non-prostitutized version of costumes (no that wasn’t a word, but I’m still using it) for women that are bigger than a 4 and don’t have hips of a 9th grade BOY?  On the bright side, for all you working girls out there looking to expand your enterprises into fantasy play and still have money left over to wedge in your bra….is Walmart the place for you!!!