Starbucks is mortal!
I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes…a shuttered starbucks. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe so take a second to let it sink in that starbucks is not an immortal brand. I’m even more surprised that the closed chain was in Winchester! For those of you who are unaware, Winchester tends to be a city of kept housewives that have playdates AT starbucks with the other perfectly coiffed wives of doctors and lawyers and their gap-clad kids.
Where are these playdates supposed to be held now I ask?? Certainly not at a dunkin donuts or a Honeydew! What is the world coming to?!?!
FINALLY summer is here….
….let the whining begin. That’s right kids, the sun has been out for 2 days now if that doesn’t mean summer I don’t know what does. Don’t get too excited because there is neverending rain in our future (including on July 4th). The icky (highly technical term) equation for today is:
3 weeks of rain soaked ground
+hot sunshine
HUMIDITY
It’s my least favorite of the big three: hazy, hot and humid. It the kind of weather that makes you stick to everything like contact paper, that makes a book left outside swell like a tick, and makes everyone sweat. Yes ladies, sweat. I don’t glow, I don’t perspire, I sweat. Fact of life, but unless I am earning it my getting my butt on the eliptical, I don’t like it.
I try to think of good things, like sweat is a self-cleaning cycle for my pores or I am a winner of a one person ”damp” T-shirt contest. Nonetheless, it’s gross. I know the body needs to sweat to cool itself off, but you think we could have evolved to have air vents/gills or something on our sides to encourage air flow. Then the gills “close” in the cooler weather as a sort of winterizing of the body. Maybe I am just watching too many sci-fi movies, who knows!
For the time being I will be taking advantage of central air, overhead fans and, as always…. iced coffees.
The Proposal…better than expected
We all know the first week of summer usually begins the onslaught of testosterone fueled movies (The Hangover and Transformers for example), so for us estrogen-based beings that might not want an explosion every 15 seconds, The Proposal is a well spent 2 hours. (Of course next week, I will probably find myself paying $10.25 to see Mr. Optimus Prime himself on the big screen, but I digress.)
The Proposal is the new movie with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Stupid me read the reviews before I went to see it, so I can’t say that I was expecting much. Everything I read described the flick as a disappointment, a waste of money or just another generic romantic comedy. Come to find out, it was highly entertaining. Perhaps I was so pleased because I expected a little more than nothing, but I would definitely give it a B+/A-.
Will either Sandra or Ryan be winning an Oscar for their role, doubtful, but they still made a very predictablestory line seem fresh. There was more than a handful of moments when I, along with the 3/4 filled theatre found ourselves laughing out loud. (If you are a teen reading this, that means loling). The movie revolves around a fake engagement brought on by a threat of deportation to Margaret (Bullock) and some blackmail by her assistant Andrew (Reynolds). They find themselves deceiving his family when they return to Sitka, Alaska for his Gammy’s (Betty White) 90th birthday and comedy ensues. White had the habit of stealing any scene she was in…that girl definitely still has it.
The moment that got the most laughs…and I’m not spoiling anything here…was the nude scene. The crowd was split in half with the whooping of teenage (and twenty something) girls at the sight of Reynolds and the sound of all the male jaws dropping at the sight of Bullock. Don’t worry, nothing is seen, it’s all from the side, but they played off the awkwardness perfectly.
Like I said it was predictable, but it seems that the movie itself knew that and didn’t try to hide it. It flaunted the assets (both literal and figurative) of the actors superbly while not taking itself too seriously. I’ll definitely see it again…when it’s out on Netflix.
Time to ponder…
Lately, I find myself pondering the inane, but I’m pretty sure I am not the only being in this world considering certain topics. Maybe if I list a few of them, you will agree.
Why do vegetarians eat things that pretend to be meat? You aren’t a SOYSAGEeterian or a PSEUDOMEATetarian…you are a VEGetarian.
Why when you really want something you say you need it “in the worst way?” I may REALLY want my kitchen redone but not in “the worst way” aka in hues of peptobismol and avocado. Or I may want chocolate “in the worst way” but will I really eat a Hershey’s bar slathered in expired mayo? ProbabDEFinitely not!
Why did I see people scrubbing the ground on the Greenway the other day…with soap and water? Was the dirt just too dirty?
Who decided that red means stop and green means go….aka the colorblind colors? Did that person just really hate someone that is colorblind and wanted to take it out on all others like the afflicted?
Why do people say “I was on line” when they mean standing IN line? If you were ON line you could look down and you would be standing on some sort of singular stripe….unless you are on the Freedom Trail or taking a sobriety test on the side of the highway, I doubt you are ON line.
Why does a cat that has a choice of sleeping in a comfy fleece bed or my outfit for the next day…decide to shed her weight in fur on my dresspants?
and last but not least….
Why do people wear camo clothing AT THE MALL? Are they trying to be the best shoplifter they can be? “Gee, when I walk out the door with this new toaster people will only see a floating toaster….not me!! BRILLIANT” Personally I would like to get rid of those brainiacs….in the WORST way!!
Massholes don’t understand “right of way”
Since the ripe old age of 16.5 I have been a registered driver in Massachusetts, affectionately referred to as a Masshole. It’s in my blood and there is no denying it. We are skilled in entering rotaries, flipping the bird and going through Dunkin drive through. In the past I have even used my ingrained knowledge to teach a Virginia driver how to lose her polite habits and stick her nose in to a rotary and to this day she is still considered an honorary Masshole. The thing that has my panties in a bunch today is how Massholes are now applying the rotary approach to on ramps.
A rotary, or roundabout if you aren’t from here, is a complicated dance of cars entering and exiting while deftly avoiding each other while ignoring the speed limit and any pedestrians. It is a honed skill and should only be used for good. To survive you need a lil pep in your gas pedal foot to get in and out with your life, simple. But now people are using the brazen tactic of “me first you last who cares” on the highway.
Perhaps this has always been the Masshole way and I have just been oblivious…which is quite a good possibility. Nonetheless it is starting to annoy me, but only when I need to get over. There is one particular spot that it is COMPLETELY evident. There is an on ramp on to 95 less than a 1/4 of a mile before an off ramp to get on 93. So you have cars (usually me) going from 60ish to 40ish having the RIGHT OF WAY trying to get off when all these cocky sons o guns are going from 30 to 80 blocking the off ramp. Did I mention that the “sons” don’t even use their blinkers when getting on to 95? Of course not….because that would be polite and safe. This whole thing is very hard to explain through the computer. It would be much easier if you could see me talking with my hands and drawing a sketchy map. Damn lacking technology. So basically, I am just writing this to vent, not to entertain. All I’m saying is when you see a car barreling down at you trying to leave the road. You think the common sensical thing would be to let them off so that there is one less car between you and your destination. But noooooo, because then those idiots wouldn’t live up to the Masshole way of life. OK I’m done, thanks for listening!!!!!
School…check Job…check
Lately my occupational status has been in question. The good news, I have a job, albeit part time. The bad news is that I am not a hobo riding the train for money (since some of you pointed out my recurring subway theme). A few weeks ago I started volunteering at the USO in Boston two days a week. Because of my awesomeness, and the fact that they desperately needed admin help, I now work there two days a week. So if you are keeping track…Tuesday and Thursday=volunteering but Wednesday and Friday=$.
If you work for Massachusetts unemployment, I’m still looking for another job. If you don’t, let me tell you how awesome it is to have a 3 day weekend EVERY week. Well kind of, since I attend USO events almost every weekend from now until the end of July. You may be asking yourself, well gollygeewillickers what is going on with school?
As of last week I am officially enrolled in grad school. “For what?” you might ask….and you know you did! I will be getting (hopefully) my M.A. in Psychology. By the way those 14 simple letters are putting me into rediculous debt, but that is the American way after all. Not to mention all the school-related dreams that have started (i.e. missing registration, being lost, using a pen and not a laptop to take notes…) And because I am psychic I can tell you that yes I will still work at the USO during school. And if it so happens that in a couple of years I will be seeing patients….anyone who prints out this blog entry and brings it to my office will get half off their consultation fee….pass it on! 
Mine goes to 11…..
The following is just an observation, if it offends you…..that’s your problem.
When growing up you learn how to talk when you are in different places. You don’t scream at the library, you don’t talk loud at a wake and you don’t call your grandmother a bastard when she beats you in UNO. And yes, those are all from experience. So as a people watcher well versed in the appropriate public speech volume, I am greatly amused when riding the train.
What I have found in the past short weeks is that the volume changes with every ethnicity. This is just a generalization, I’m not stereotyping or labeling….just observing. So at the lowest decibel level we find the Caucasians….generally. Usually there is that one obnoxious woman who can’t wait to tell someone on the other end of a cell phone (and everyone on the train) about her foot problems and her vacation. But mostly we whisper to each other like we are sharing secrets. Next comes African Americans and young Asians (30 and under), the older parts come later. They talk in normal levels with some highs and some lows, kind of like a tide. Next, we find Hispanics. They talk louder as if trying to get some point across yet in a very familiar tone, usually on the phone. Finally we reach the older Asians. They don’t give a hoot about how loud they talk or who is around them, they speak to the person next to me at the level you usually use at a rock concert.
I can promise you there is no scientific basis behind my observations. Nada. None. It’s more fun that way. My results will never be seen by the any eyes other than those of the loyal readers of this blog. But you ride the train for a little bit and tell me I’m wrong.
P.S. The title, if you don’t know refers to this.
Would someone please find Amy!?!?!!
Over the course of this week I have been in and out of my car a bunch of times. That fact alone is in no way abnormal. Add in the fact that no matter when I got in my car Britney is seeking Amy, and I’m ready to drive in to the Charles. Sure, it is probably the fact that KISS108 is on, but seriously, what are the odds that day and night the same song would be on when Amanda gets in her car? I could see twice in a week, but I think we are up to about eight times this week. I’m about to go on a search for Amy myself just so Britney will SHUT UP!
Now, I understand that the popular stations have to play the “popular” songs, I get that. So go ahead and put the same 10 songs in rotation just not in the SAME rotation. Don’t have Britney playing at some point between 4:32 and 4:45 every afternoon. The poor DJs, that means Romeo (the afternoon DJ) has to hear the songs more than any audience member, how is he not suicidal?
Here is a little tid bit that you may or may not be aware of. The real name of the song is “If You Seek Amy” but to but it on mainstream radio it was changed to “If You See Amy.” Because for some pervert in the censor department, “If You Seek Amy” sounds like “eff you c k me.” I’m thinking Britney probably thought she was being sly and that she would sneak a dreaded curse word past the censors, but they are quick little suckers and caught on. Personally, someone had to enunciate the title about three times before I caught on. I guess my mind isn’t as in the gutter as most people think!!!
Blogging=good….Blogging underwater=awesome
Now for you tech nerds out there I will first clear the air by saying I have not found some magic way to use my Macbook underwater. If I had, I would be a millionairess and have some peon writing this blog for me. Last time I checked though I am still a hundredairess with that number going down rather than up.
This evening I was taking a soak in the hot tub (which I am taking a break from because it was too hot) when I had a bunch of good ideas for blog entries. If you ask me to recount them, you’re out of luck. I forgot them all because I had no way to record them. Pen and paper would just become a soggy pile of pulp. I don’t think there is any app in iTunes that will waterproof my iPhone…yet. And then I would electricute myself if I tried typing in the spa. So this got me to thinking….we can not call ourselves a mobile society if we in fact are not truly mobile. Sure I can climb Everest and probably get a signal to order a pizza or upload pictures from my laptop of a monkey sitting next to me when I’m on a deserted island. But what I can NOT do is blog while soaking. Therefore, hence, summarily I am not truly mobile.
Things have come a long way for the mobility of bloggers. First there was Doogie Houser and his ginormous desktop, then there was Carrie typing away on her bed….now what. There is no third step “Amanda blogging from her hot tub.” I mean seriously folks, something needs to be done to solve this atrocity. How can a girl keep her loyal readers entertained if she has no way to share her thoughts while in 103 degree water? It’s just not right I tell you, just not right!!!
