When I was a junior in high school we had to do science projects. For some unknown reason I decided to do caloric values of nuts which in essence you find out by lighting them on fire. In high school, I was like many other teens, not in with the cool kids…not looking hot…I was what I like to refer to as in the lukewarm area. So here I am in Mr. Valenti’s AP chem class with a mix of some popular seniors (aka the hot boys) and nerds (aka us) announcing my topic title. The second I unfolded my Staples trifold display board I heard the snickers…”How hot are your nuts?” was written in a snazzy fire like font across the top. Mr. Valenti wasn’t so sure how to respond so he moved on to the next kid. Eventhough I was highly amused I felt like saying “PEOPLE! We’re taking about cashews, peanuts, almonds, etc.” Freakin’ teenagers.
I’m not an idiot, I knew the alternate meaning of the title but didn’t think it was a big deal. The simple phrase captured the essence of my study. Then Mr. Valenti approached me in the hallway and said “I’m not so sure about your title, you know what it sounds like right?” Right there, in the corridor I realized how hard nuts have it. I moved on, lived my life, and then came a random conversation a couple of nights ago.
The girls and I were snacking on something, whether it was trail mix or cookies I forget, but I know it wasn’t healthy. OH it was macadamia nut cookies…I took a bite and innocently stated, “you know, nuts are great. I can’t think of one I don’t like.” The silent pause was broken by cackles all around and I was brought back to AP chem. Perverts. Is it funny? Absofrickinlutely, but I feel bad for the various delectable seeds.
Nowadays when anyone after Gen Y says ”nuts” for some reasons their minds go straight to the gutter and think of male anatomy. I guess I can’t complain though, because once word got out in high school about my project, ”How hot are your nuts?” was the most popular display at the fair!
